You’re trying to make sense of something that simply won’t make sense. Stop! Life is crazy! Very little makes sense. The craziest idea is that we will ever be able to understand the reasons why it all works as it does, and why people respond and feel as they do. We’re a very long way from that! Instead of concerning yourself with matters of the mind, try focusing on what you feel in your heart. If a certain situation is making you happy, trust that. If not, you know what to do.